16 February 2012

Jenny's Maunderings of Doooooooom!

I filed my taxes today.  I'm in that enviable portion of the population who gets back more from the IRS than we paid, because we made so little money over the course of the year.  No, I'm not kidding.  In related news, TurboTax sent me a bill for $0.00 for helping me file.

It's been a rough few years for me. I was just thinking this morning that I used to be interesting.  I've lived in some of the biggest cities on the planet, done some exciting things, kept company with some fascinating people, slept beside some beautiful women.  But the last few years, I've pretty much solidly been broke, lonely, and ill; living on the charity of relatives, and feeling worthless and broken.

And I promised to keep this blog on web comic development, but that stuff up there is important for understanding the place where I'm coming to this from.  I'm seriously depressed, and think I may be permanently broken, but I'm trying to find something creative that I can do, something worthwhile to drag me out of the pit where I don't get out of bed, before I become some kind of Brian Wilson tribute band.

Anyway, I mentioned before that I'd about 80% decided on one of the options to pursue.  That option is Candidate Five, Blackrock Fief.  One and Three, There Shall be Blood and The Delicate Art of the Sword respectively, are projects that Jane and I have talked about developing together.  I don't know what the status of that is, but... Jane's got right of first refusal, and until I hear from her that she's not interested in going further with them, I'm not going to preempt that.

Candidate Two, the unnamed space opera, may see further development as a fic podcast.  I don't know.  It's deliberately written as a Mary Sue, with the viewpoint character representing me, and Jane representing, well, Jane.  It was intended to amuse Jane.  Unfortunately, she's kind of incommunicado right now, so I don't know if it did.

That leaves Candidate Four, Gloaming Eos, or Candidate Five, 玖藩/Blackrock Fief. Frankly, though I could do Gloaming Eos, it doesn't speak as clearly to me as Blackrock Fief. I've spent enough time working with geriatric populations that I could write a slice-of-life / romance thing set in a place like King Hall... but the truth is, I've spent enough time working with geriatric populations.  It's not my True Calling; it's just something I've had to do to feed myself.

So it looks like it's Blackrock Fief.  And... I have more to say about that, but I need to think about it some more.


Susan said...

No matter the process of elimination, it's a good choice. There's a lot there to explore, human feelings toward robots, and how that relates to or reflects human feelings toward humans. The possibilities of life, the meaning of sentience, what is beauty, and scads of other things. Aside from that, it has a lot of possibilities of just plain fun. So have some! You aren't broken. Depression makes us feel broken and sometimes worthless. You are not. You have been derailed. You can get back and you are still you, a valuable person, and of great worth.

Angel_lord said...


Well, it's not a bad choice. It will be interesting to see what comes out of this in the long run and I look forward to your success.

Jennifer Linsky said...

So, you've been kind of incommunicado for a while. I hope your thing on Monday goes well. Poke me when you're back.